Hopefully I passed. I put in a ton of time studying and knew something to write for each and every essay. What scares me is that I freaked out on a couple and that could have taken my already shaky form and style (which was bar exam specific) and regressed it into how I'd usually write. If I failed, I believe that'll be the reason. That and I have no clue how I did on the multiple choice because there were at least two right answers on each question and it was up to you - the lowly bar exam taker - to pick the subjectively "Most Right" answer. I hope there's a special room reserved in hell for the person who thought of that little quirk.
Either way, it's over. And I returned home for a wild celebration which consisted of taking a two day nap.
Since then I've contacted a head hunter in hopes of finding something for which my three years of time and six figure tuition can return some sort of gainful employment. So far there are some interesting leads, but nothing concrete. Yet. The economy is saturated with attorneys and most of them have some advantages on me. Trivial things like "experience" or fancy latin words that mean they lived in the law library 18 hours a day over the last three years and finished above me in the class rankings. Others have the benefit of parents who are somewhat influential in the world of lawyers and thusly were able to lean on the right people to hire their offspring.
As for me, I have contacts to find jobs, but they may or may not be lawyer jobs. And that's fine because I believe what I wrote over three years ago when applying to law school: A law degree is simply a key that opens many doors in many different arenas. Most people charge through the one right in front of them (i.e. practicing law). They are so sure that's the only way to be successful. I disagree. And I aim to prove my point by finding what one of my professors described as the "happy job". Without going into too much detail the happy job is basically a job that makes you happy. For me that is a job that is challenging and provides tangible output (i.e. not being a paper pushing drone for a big firm that likes its billable hours). It's also one that allows me to be at home and have a rewarding family life. I don't want to be away six of seven days. I don't want to leave before the sun rises and return when everyone has gone to sleep. That's simply not an option.
One highly placed executive of a well-known online college told me that such thinking was "small minded" and "severely limited" my ability to be successful. As I relayed to her: "I guess that depends on how you define success". I'm 29 years old. I've got, on average, 50 years remaining on earth. Five decades from now I really have no desire to be sitting here thinking that I really do wish I'd have spent time with those who meant something to me instead of logging that 100th hour of work for the week. But that's just me. It's not for me to say that lifestyle isn't rewarding for some. I assume it is. But it's not for me. Same way cauliflower isn't something I'd prefer to eat. I mean it is certainly one way to survive, but not an overly fulfilling one.
As the job hunt progresses I'm somewhat optimistic that I'll find something. Somewhere. I'm fortunate enough to be in a position that allows me to be selective, and I plan on utilizing that ability. I'm going to weigh the pros and cons of each decision that presents itself and go from there. I don't mind leaving our current location, but it'll have to be a good enough opportunity.
Regardless of where the path takes us, there is one thing I want to be sure of going forward....that I never have to take the NC Bar Exam again. So keep your fingers crossed that I some how manage to pass it and that results in a "good" letter arriving the first week of September.
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